Residence ID is in hand, but I found out I could get a mobile phone number without it. No worries. New dilemma is getting a work permit. This is NOT a work visa (which I have in my passport already); this is NOT a residence permit (see part I). This is something else that no one can really explain to me other than, “you need it.” So here are the steps:
• Have Dad mail original diplomas (notarized copies from the states that you brought with are not good enough).
• Take diplomas to an office to be translated from English to Turkish, even though no one in the office seems to speak English. Cost is $10 each, but if you want a receipt, it‘s $14 each.
• Have translated diplomas notarized for $40 each.
• Have passport (an internationally recognized government document) translated to Turkish for $14
• Have Turkish residence permit (government issued document) notarized for $23
• Have passport/translation notarized for $25
• Ask Embassy to write and sign a letter confirming I have a job that pays
• Hand everything in to a guy named Ali and hope it’s taken care of
I am convinced the job of notary is the most lucrative job in this country. Sure, they can use a rubber stamp faster than most, but really, these guys make a FORTUNE!!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Sunday, October 04, 2009
The Gender Issue
A woman traveling or living alone in a foreign country always has to take caution. Petty theft is attracted to weak targets and unfortunately she, as a lone female, is seen to be among the weakest. Theft or physical harm is not usually the primary concerns for her, though. It can even be said that, in Muslim areas specifically, harassment is much more "passive." It can come to her in the form of marriage proposals from shop owners while she walks through the crowded market in the afternoon. It can also come to from a stranger in a car following her as she walks home alone at night, or the guy that touches her knee and says something she can't understand while he looks her straight in the eye even after she clearly says, “FUCK OFF.” It’s likely that none of these men want to hurt her physically or steal her purse, but they probably wouldn't interact with most women this way, just women like her - foreign and alone.
It can happen with people she knows too - neighbors or colleagues and that's when it can be really difficult for her. She wants to have good working relationships with the new people in her life. In her mind, that might include walking around town with a male colleague and even going for lunch with absolutely NO intentions beyond food. When she, as single woman leaves work with a male colleague, married or single, she might take some things for granted. Chances are, this lunch is only lunch. Chances are other colleagues; students or whomever will not see her with him and assume the wedding will be next weekend. If he's married, she will not be seen as an adulteress. And he will not figure lunch will lead to an invite to her place later. Or at least that would be the case back home. It all can change in a foreign country. In many places, she can't take those things for granted. In many countries, when she - the foreign woman - accepts an offer for lunch or tea from a local man, she is saying "YES" to whatever might be on his mind which could likely just be food . . . or sex . . . or a life-long commitment.
If she tried to understand this by asking a local man or woman acquaintance, she might say, "Would he treat a local woman that way?" The answer would probably be "No, of course not . . . “ So what is she left to think? Is she a victim of discrimination . . . sexism. . . .men here don’t know how to respect women? Does it mean that those she is surrounded by are at fault . . . that they have a problem and must change?
The reality is that the foreign woman is treated differently in many countries. She is more objectified. She is a curiosity and often a sexual one. It could even be said that she is to blame for not wearing enough clothing or setting good enough boundaries. In a country where local women cover their heads for reasons ranging from, “Because my husband wants me to,” to “It is personally liberating to NOT be judged by what I wear or how I look” a concrete answer to any sort of gender issue is hard to find.
As a foreigner, as a guest, she can’t set the rules. She can’t always control if, when or even how men interact with her. She can control how she interacts with them, though. Really, it wouldn’t be much different back home either. If she thinks about it, she can remember working for that guy in a school back in New York. He was the quintessential sexist pig, calling her “babe” saying he’ll be nice to her if she’s nice to him, offering to buy her a drink after work. It wasn’t easy to have a good working relationship with this guy but she had to because he was the boss. The best she could do was set her boundaries, pick her battles and continue to do the work she was there to do, thanks to or in spite of the man with no respect.
Back to the foreign country . . . she still feels pretty uncomfortable. Men look at her differently, they often approach her differently. Come on . . . there has to be a balance she can establish somehow. A balance where she can have coffee with male colleagues and still maintain a respectable professional relationship. She’ll figure it out, find the right people with whom to surround herself. In the mean time, maybe if she just wears long sleeves and walks around with her iPod, the cat calls won’t bother her so much and setting her own boundaries will be easier. Once that happens, she can truly enjoy the experience of living in a pretty incredible foreign country.
It can happen with people she knows too - neighbors or colleagues and that's when it can be really difficult for her. She wants to have good working relationships with the new people in her life. In her mind, that might include walking around town with a male colleague and even going for lunch with absolutely NO intentions beyond food. When she, as single woman leaves work with a male colleague, married or single, she might take some things for granted. Chances are, this lunch is only lunch. Chances are other colleagues; students or whomever will not see her with him and assume the wedding will be next weekend. If he's married, she will not be seen as an adulteress. And he will not figure lunch will lead to an invite to her place later. Or at least that would be the case back home. It all can change in a foreign country. In many places, she can't take those things for granted. In many countries, when she - the foreign woman - accepts an offer for lunch or tea from a local man, she is saying "YES" to whatever might be on his mind which could likely just be food . . . or sex . . . or a life-long commitment.
If she tried to understand this by asking a local man or woman acquaintance, she might say, "Would he treat a local woman that way?" The answer would probably be "No, of course not . . . “ So what is she left to think? Is she a victim of discrimination . . . sexism. . . .men here don’t know how to respect women? Does it mean that those she is surrounded by are at fault . . . that they have a problem and must change?
The reality is that the foreign woman is treated differently in many countries. She is more objectified. She is a curiosity and often a sexual one. It could even be said that she is to blame for not wearing enough clothing or setting good enough boundaries. In a country where local women cover their heads for reasons ranging from, “Because my husband wants me to,” to “It is personally liberating to NOT be judged by what I wear or how I look” a concrete answer to any sort of gender issue is hard to find.
As a foreigner, as a guest, she can’t set the rules. She can’t always control if, when or even how men interact with her. She can control how she interacts with them, though. Really, it wouldn’t be much different back home either. If she thinks about it, she can remember working for that guy in a school back in New York. He was the quintessential sexist pig, calling her “babe” saying he’ll be nice to her if she’s nice to him, offering to buy her a drink after work. It wasn’t easy to have a good working relationship with this guy but she had to because he was the boss. The best she could do was set her boundaries, pick her battles and continue to do the work she was there to do, thanks to or in spite of the man with no respect.
Back to the foreign country . . . she still feels pretty uncomfortable. Men look at her differently, they often approach her differently. Come on . . . there has to be a balance she can establish somehow. A balance where she can have coffee with male colleagues and still maintain a respectable professional relationship. She’ll figure it out, find the right people with whom to surround herself. In the mean time, maybe if she just wears long sleeves and walks around with her iPod, the cat calls won’t bother her so much and setting her own boundaries will be easier. Once that happens, she can truly enjoy the experience of living in a pretty incredible foreign country.
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